


If He Wills It

by blood_and_cigars



Category: Hellsing
Genre: (is it really?), Alucard is still as fucking weird as always, Angst, Before everything goes to hell of course, F/M, One Shot, Power Play, Romance, Seras is a poor traumatized baby with anger issues, Takes place during the Rio trip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-10 23:11:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17435276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blood_and_cigars/pseuds/blood_and_cigars
Summary: When discussing the limits of Alucard's powers, Seras finally asks him if he really did have no choice but to turn her into a vampire on that fateful night in Cheddar. Alucard refuses to answer, and of course things escalate.





	If He Wills It

When they’d settled in the suite— and Seras had been released from her coffin— it seemed there was nothing to do but wait. She hadn’t seen her Master’s latest form before. She’d noticed the subtle variations in his features, but never in daylight, never outside the heat of battle. He didn’t seem to move awkwardly, as if these were foreign limbs. Although she supposed he didn’t look different enough for all that either.

He’d told her to sleep, so she’d be rested for the assignment later. But there was no sleep for her outside her coffin, and she was loathe to lie in that thing so soon. She watched him silently settle down into an armchair, seeming for all the world content to sit there until nightfall. She wondered if when he shifted his features, it was simply illusion or he materially changed.

Before she could catch herself, she was across the room reaching out to touch his hair. She’d acted on the impulse almost sooner than she’d become aware of it. But his eyes only flickered her way for a moment, eyebrows raised. “Satisfied?”

“Sorry, I… I was wondering if it felt real.” She smiled sheepishly, giving it a light tug before releasing the lock of hair. “How do you change it so often?”

“I will it longer, and it is.” He shrugged. “Why aren’t you sleeping?”

She ignored the question and instead took his hand. He looked at her curiously, but let her take off his glove. Recently she’d dreamt that they were somewhere dark, in a near pitch blackness that her new eyes no longer allowed for. The only light had been the dim red glow of his eyes. He’d raised his hand, to remove his glove with his teeth. He’d pulled it from each finger neatly, until the entire thing was off. And all that poured out was blood.

“So you do have hands.”

“Of course,” he said, glancing at her bemusedly.

Idly, she rubbed small circles over the back of his hand.

“What is it you want Police Girl?”

Seras was tired, she was confused, and she didn’t want to spend any more time in that coffin than she had to. She definitely didn’t want to be alone, or sit in total silence which might as well be the same thing. She was racking her brain for what they could possibly do while they waited but the words that came out of her mouth instead were, “I want to go home.” She felt a lump in her throat, the beginnings of unexpected tears stinging her eyes.

“There is no home anymore. “

After a long pause, Seras finally said what she’d been thinking all through the flight. “You didn’t need to… make me the way I am did you?”

“Into a vampire?” he said, face impassive.

“I’ve seen what you can do, likely not much of it— but enough. “

He wouldn’t meet her eyes. He stared at a point straight ahead, as if enraptured by the scene beyond the windows. She thought of how she’d seen him dissolve into bats, reform in multiple places, how quickly he moved. There was precision to his powers. When he willed it.

“There had to be another way.” A raw anger was building up in her, one she didn’t often like to consider. And still he refused to acknowledge her. Without thinking, she grabbed his chin and roughly turned his face to her. “ _Look at me and say it_.”

In the stillness that followed, her heart— momentarily forgetting something as trivial as death— pounded in her ears. She was teetering on the edge of horror, realizing what she’d done. He held her gaze unwaveringly now, his pupils dilated. His face twisted into a semblance of a grin. Then he pulled her to him.

She wasn’t sure what she’d expected, but it wasn’t a kiss.

He was cold to the touch, even to her senses. A bone deep chill clung to her lips that she hadn’t felt through her own gloves. She bit down on his lip, relishing the way he gasped against her teeth. His bare hand twisted in her hair, and she felt that searing cold at the base of her neck too.

Of all the terrible choices she could make, getting involved with Alucard— in any capacity— was likely very near the top of the list. But she was angry. And she loved the modicum of control she had in that moment. That she could pin her Master to this chair, and drag her nails across his throat, and his only response was to moan.

She pulled away for a breath she did not need. Somehow she’d ended up on his lap, straddling the chair.

“Are you angry with me, Police Girl?”

She was keenly aware of the hand still clutching at him, her grip would’ve no doubt been painful for anyone else. “That’s not my name.”

He grinned. “Then make me say it.”

**Author's Note:**

> For a tumblr request to write what exactly happened in that hotel room.
> 
> This isn't my usual ship, I'm alutegra garbage all the way, but there's something very interesting about angsty messed up aluseras.


End file.
